I took a test yesterday and failed. It was bad. I was too confident because the test was on a topic I considered myself to be a master, yeah right! I failed and felt like s*@#$%t.
I mean it hurt so bad I screamed and jumped up and down and smashed stuff, raised my fists in the air and screamed again and again walking down the street saying “whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!”…anyway I didn’t do all that really, but I sure felt like doing that.
Failing is hard, for me at least, when I fail on something, I feel so down, I lose sleep, and in the end I get obsessed with this thing, if its a test, like yesterdays’, I get so obsessed with it, addicted for a while, I will not sleep until I master the subject, and re-take the test again and again until I pass. Then I can relax and admire myself a little, and be like yeah, I’m the man!
Now don’t ask me what happens when it comes to girls…its a sad story.
So yesterday after failing I went home, tried to watch a horror movie, didn’t take the pain away, tried to listen to some music, didn’t work and I ended up drinking beer. And trust me on this one, it takes the pain away. Great cure, because when you’ve had some, well, you start giving yourself hope, like you didn’t actually fail, you just slipped, you know, you are a master in this thing, how can you fail? you are not a loser and neither are you an idiot, yada yada till sleeping time.
Anyways, let me get back to my research on the topic I “used” to be a master in, because now I am officially on the obsession period, talk to you again when I pass the test. Cheers!
I agree that to fail at something that you consider yourself to be a master at can be devastating to your ego. The good part is that you can remember that you are human and fallible! So you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving. My policy is not to take myself too seriously. That way when I fall, I can always get up laughing.
Cheers Winnie!